When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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