Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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