but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
