She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
