id be glad to
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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