There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
