therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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