We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
