who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
