I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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