I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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