so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
