why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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