she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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