some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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