I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
