I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
