We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Everyone says I win the strip club
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
