This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
