well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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