I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
