Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
