Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
