why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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