if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
