I am puke
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
