she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
