At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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