I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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