Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
