Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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