I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Everything about him screamed your future.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
