In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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