I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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