i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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