Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
