my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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