i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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