Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
