whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
