Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
