he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
