so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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