you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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