She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You dont lie about slip and slides
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
