I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just blew my weed a kiss
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
