Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
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