I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
