Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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