woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
