Define "chronic" masturbator.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
